To Preschool, or not to preschool

While it might seem like a no-brainer in this day and age, determining whether or not to send my school-age child to school (3-yr old preschool) gave me pause.  Sure, I want to send him.  But how the heck am I going to do THAT!

Two days a week, mornings only.  That does not really work within my schedule.  At least when he is old enough to go to school-school, it will be 5 full days…and require fewer special manuvers in scheduling.

However, looking at where my 3-yr-old is developmentally, not sending him is NOT an option.  The structured situations I have put him into the last 3 or so months, he has LOVED!  I cannot possibly let my schedule (or my selfishness regarding my sanity) prevent me from making this come true for my son.

So, we will make it work.  Leaning on friends/family, and a hopefully-flexible and understanding manager, will result in my son going to 3-yr old preschool!  Hurray! 

What do they say?  It takes a village?  Seems like I might require a little more help than even a village can provide, but I will take all of the help I can get!

Kiddie Cams

I happened to be involved in a conversation where we were talking about web cams and pet shops or ‘doggie daycares’, where you can go to a website and watch your pets (or pets you may want to purchase) sleep, and play, and eat, etc., all day long.  Have a look: Puppy Cam

I started thinking this might be fun to have in a daycare, so you can check in at any time and see what your child is doing…reading books, eating lunch, watching TV, sitting in Time Out!

Would you pay more for a daycare that had this feature, than one that didn’t.  There is the obvious “for the safety of my child” factor, but outside of that, could you see yourself spending time checking in on your kids?

Cycles

So, it seems my family is in the part of our cycle in which my son is throwing tantrums about things that are ordinarily okay with him, not wanting to go to bed when it is time, wanting to eat only macaroni and cheese, and the like.

I have heard from my friends/parents who have gone before me with a three-year-old that this is normal, you will have a period of good behavior, followed by what seems like a forever-long period of bad behavior.

I have been trying to track it, to see if I can figure out what is causing it, but so far, I am not convinced it is anything I can control.

Duh, you say!  He’s three, right!

Just wondering if anyone else experiences this type of cyclical behavior in your children, and what age are they?  And, more importantly, how do you deal with it.  I am especially interested in pointers!

How do you manage?  What keeps you sane?

One person’s job…

My son asked me the other day, “Mom, when does Becky go to work?”  Becky is our sitter, and it was interesting to me that he knows Mommy and Daddy go to work, but he does not equate what Becky does every day as ‘work’.

I think this means two things…

1. Our sitter is fantastic!  The children feel welcome, and they feel like they belong, not like they are someone’s chore.  And, as young as my child is, I think that he can sense when people feel he is a task, versus a pleasure, and

2. He cannot possibly fathom that he is considered work to Becky, and that someone would actually have to be paid to tend to his every need day after day.  After all, Mom and Dad do it all the time, brandishing smiles as big as the day is long with every task!

OK, that last part might be a stretch, but the first statement is a fact!  Not having to worry about having good quality daycare as part of being a working parent is huge!  I am very, very thankful, for my sitter!

You’re Stressed!?!?

Sometimes, life is a little easier than other times.  It happens.  It’s not always work that causes my stress, but that seems to be the most frequent culprit.  I think I am pretty good at managing stress, thought my peers, and probably my husband, might tend to disagree.

I realized how much stress has an impact on my life once it started impacting my child.  My husband has always been very understanding, wisely standing clear when he sees his tightly-wound wife heading his way.  My son, on the other hand, is not as practiced.

My son recognizes my stress and sees it as an opportunity to torment me in my already compromised state.  My patience quickly drops to zero, and I lack the capacity to restrain myself at the slightest indication of misbehavior.  I yell and he yells back.  I cannot blame him, he is just mirroring what he sees.  It is this moment when I realize Mommy needs a time out.

I have learned at the first sign of stress that I must completely disengage from whatever it is I am trying to do for myself, and pick up my son and sit down to read a book, build a tower out of blocks, or make myself into a human jungle gym.  It does not matter, as long as my 3-yr old and I are no longer engaged in a shouting contest, it’s all good.  This little task, in and of itself, keeps my blood pressure at an acceptable level, and hopefully teaches my son, by example, how to deal with difficult situations in a mostly-civilized manner.

This is not something that came to me overnight, it was not a skill I was blessed with when I rolled out of the hospital with my beautiful newborn in my arms.  There have been many failures prior to this realization, but I try not to dwell on those…what matters is that I can now recognize it when it happens.  I don’t fault myself for not getting it exactly right each time, and I vow to try to do a better job the next time the situation arises.

Progress is good, it keeps us going.

Lean, Mean and CLEAN!

I received an email in my inbox the other day from a working moms website that I subscribe to, and it took me a little while (even though I am quite familiar with advertising online) to realize the email I received was an advertisement for a maid-service!

It talks all about work-life balance, and how having a clean house, and having help with house cleaning is essential to maintaining balance.  So much so that 98% of women surveyed by this particular advertiser say they are better balanced because of ‘help with house cleaning’.

I do not have a maid service, which is apparent if you have ever been in my house! You will find crumbs on my floors, nose prints on my windows, and noticeable layers of dust (hopefully without words written in them) at any point in time.  I think it makes the house seem homier, lived-in, if you will.

All that said, I do know there are many people out there who cannot deal with the lack of cleanliness I described above.  I think that is OK too, I was actually born to one of those people.  I mean, I love you Mom!

What’s the tally for Eastern Iowa families…To Clean, or Not To Clean, Maid or no Maids, what do you think?  Creative ideas on how to do either in an efficient and effective way, let’s hear those too.  We can all use a new idea here and there to make our lives a little easier.

Busy Bee

It’s strange, but I sometimes find that when I am busy beyond belief I actually function better, as a person, as an employee, as a wife and as a mother.

Work has been particularly challenging this week, a lot needing to be done, but not a lot of time to do it in.  Add to that the decision I made in December to coach a freshman club volleyball team this winter, your run-of-the-mill domestic duties, and time with my family, there is not really much time for anything else.

When this happens, as periodically it does, I tend to go into hyper-productivity mode…I just know it has to be done, so I do it.  No thinking about it, wondering if I can put it off until later, just pure motivataion to arrive at that light at the end of the tunnel as soon as possible!  I know not everyone is like me in this regard, some head in the opposite direction when starting to feel overwhelmed.  I don’t know which way is right, I just know what way seems to work best for me.

However, when I do reach the light, as I did this Saturday morning…I found it hard to get off the couch for at least 4 hours for anything short of a fire.  There is one other thing that can make me move, and that is the smile and sincere eyes of my son, asking me to lay on the floor and play trucks and tractors with him.  It’s important to me, no matter how exhaused I feel, that I give him my attention, especially when he asks.  Besides, laying on the couch and laying on the floor are really not that much different, right?

Here’s to hoping next week does not require me to utilize my entire weeken to completely regroup…every now and again, I like to save a little of my energy for myself.  In addition, I hope between now and Monday, I will have found enough energy to do some laundry.

Workin’ it – “Home”-style

So, I got the call yesterday near the end of the day…”Your son is ’spitting’, you need to come and get him.”  Spitting, at our house, is another word for vomiting.  GREEEEAAAATTTTTT….the stomach flu.

Packed up all my work that I might need to ensure all of my tasks stay on schedule while I am MIA, and headed out to pick up my ‘Little Puker’.  We made it home without a mess in the car, which was worth celebrating in and of itself, and he was in pretty good shape…until bed time.

It was like the perfect storm brewing.  He had drank some water, kept it down.  You want a few saltines, sure!  Kept those down…some chicken noodle soup, no problem!  Running around and playing…oh, this is a good sign.  Perhaps, rather than the flu, it was something he ate that did not agree with him.  No working at home for me tomorrow!  Bath and clean pajamas, done.  Seconds before heading to bed…his body went into rewind.  It all came up.  UGH!

So, working from home it is.  I am not complaining, as I know I am very lucky to have this option available to me.  I could take the day off, but then I would get nothing done.  If I work from home, intermittent as it might be, I am still keeping my projects afloat, and not losing an entire day of productivity.

I usually get in a full 8 hours, getting up before my son does to get some early morning tasking in.  In between hooking up toy tractors and their plows about 900 times a day, I can answer emails and knock some little stuff off my list.  And, I will be working this evening to wrap up any loose ends from the day, prepping for a full day in the office tomorrow.  The day ends up being a lot longer than most days in the office, but some snuggle time with my little one, when he needs his Mommy the most, is worth the elongated day.

Now if you will excuse me, there is a miniture semi truck and trailer desperately needing a hook-up.

Who needs it?

As a rule, I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions.  I don’t need the hassle of trying to hold myself accountable to the same goal year after year, always ending in the same result.  Whether it is weight loss, vowing to be more organized, or any other special attribute that I might aspire to have, I know I am just kidding myself.  I never follow through.

But, it is fun to think about…if I had more will power than excuses, what would I vow to change? Let’s see:

1. To consistently get to work on time. Does ‘consistently late relative to the time I am supposed to be at work’ count?  Close enough!
2. Lay out clothing for my child and myself the night before, in an effort to enable #1 above.  In 30-something years of life, I have never even been able to successfully do this for myself more than 2 nights in a row.  Me and another person?…HA!  Next…
3. Create a menu (and subsequent shopping list) to facilitate a beautifully prepared meal each and every night of the week.  What?  And ruin the element of surprise that accompanies all days ending in ‘y’ I spend searching cupboards and the refrigerator for enough ingredients to make something edible…NEVER!

Bottom line, we are who we are, which is what makes us great!  If we tried (and succeeded) to be something we are not, our family, friends and coworkers would not recognize us…and who wants that?

What are some of your New Year’s near-resolutions?  I would love to hear how others aim to improve and remain successful at being exactly who they are.  If we cannot change ourselves, we might as well bask in the humor that is ‘life’

Holiday Hangover

Back to work after the holidays.  While I am tired and still reeling from a serious case of  ‘holiday hangover’ (and I am not talking about the one that involves drinking too much), I am pretty thankful to be forced to return myself and my family to a normal schedule.

Without my job, I am pretty sure I would not have had the willpower to get out of my pajamas this morning, feed myself and my child something other than leftover Christmas cookies for breakfast, and do anything meaningful today.

I never really believed people when they said structure and consistency in a child’s life is important…but, boy, do I believe them now.  Late nights, early mornings, poor diets, sugar, sugar, sugar…it all makes for one big mess!  Add Christmas presents to the mix, and my child is a bigger monster than Disney or Pixar ever thought of creating.

But, today, I awoke with new hope.  Today is the day we are on Consistent Avenue, on our way to Normalville.  I am sure when I pick my son up from the sitter, he will be the perfect little angel I lost along the way  last week.

That reminds me, I need to stop off after work and get the sitter a sympathy card and some bubble bath, I am sure she will need it after today…5 kids with their own holiday hangovers…Oye!

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